Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize