And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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