I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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