yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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