Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
