Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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