the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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