i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
