everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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