Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize