My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize