the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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