Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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