maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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