I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
