why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize