Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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