Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize