Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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