This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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