it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize