Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
