I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
