your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
