Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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