I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
