Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
