I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
