I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
