Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
