Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
