Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
