Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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