Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
