I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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