Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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