im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He better not be in your backpack
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
