you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
