If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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