His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
