i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
