barbara walters just said penis...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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