it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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