And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
