You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I did not marry a roomba.
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