You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
