no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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