Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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