420 ftw
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
