hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He did a backflip because drugs
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
