I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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