I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
