sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
